I am sure I am like you (at least, some of you).
Until recently I was navigating through my own space-time, in my trusty spacecraft, worrying about everything, achieving very little and feeling pretty miserable when, bang!
My spacecraft let me down.
I’ve never been ill before, never been in hospital before. but back in April I had a major heart attack and wham, I am at death’s door. It was very hard on those around me but, to be honest, I was just a spectator. I only survived by the skill and hard work of those who somehow kept me alive.
I was in a coma for a few days; the first thing I remember was being rather annoyed at being incapable of doing, pretty much, anything. I couldn’t recognize anyone, speak or move. Slowly, over a couple of days, everything came back. As an engineer I was fascinated by my recovery, as my systems seemed to come back on-line. I started to remember people and events; I could move, speak, read and even write, although I was initially left-handed, which as a previously life-long right-hander, I can only attribute to a software glitch!
A few days in, my doctor kinda glibly said, “it’s only natural that you will suffer some psychological problems given you’ve had a near death experience”. Up until then, I hadn’t really thought about it. Yes, life is very binary; either you’re alive or not and the line between is very thin. The line I’d almost stepped over… Then I got to thinking: I am not dead but what would have happened if I had just shuffled a little further over that thin line? The answer I came up with is… not a lot really. The world will keep turning and keep getting hotter. My family and friends will soon get over it and carry on with their own lives.
So what is the point of doing anything if nothing really matters?
After much thought my conclusion is, that’s the wrong question. The real question is…
What can I do that really matters?
Few of us, if any, will have a lasting legacy; just accept it. Our relationships with our family and friends will be our best legacy so make them count. Be good to those around you and be there.
I’ve got to say I feel great now. I can’t really remember what I thought or how I felt before but I wasn’t as positive as I as am now. I really feel the optimism of a teenager again. If that is my psychological problem, I love it!
I am not one for preaching but this is my mantra from now on…
Rule one: You are a really a great person. Show it, be kind, supportive, thoughtful and useful to those around you.
Rule two: Be there, look after yourself. You’ve only got one spacecraft, so look after it. If you follow rule one, those around you will cherish your presence.
Rule three: Just enjoy life; it’s infectious.
In the immortal words of , Viv Savage, “Have a good time all of the time”.
DO’C August 2018